I went to the E.R. this past Sunday... I had been putting it off for a a few days, which was STUPID, but I guess I really didn't want to know "the truth." I had been having a pain in my lower left calf for a few days, and it was progressively feeling worse. On Sunday I woke up and it was aching pretty bad and my toes were kinda tingly... Probably not a good sign.
You see there is this other thing about not going to the hospital... If I go to the hospital and nothing is wrong with me, than I look like a big idiot that always thinks there is something wrong with her... and then on the other side of the coin, if there is something wrong,*then* THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.... that is scary in a different, more complex way...
Obviously, there was something wrong, or I wouldn't be writing this blog in such a way, that makes me first and foremost thankful that I have my LIFE!...
I have a blood disorder, Factor V Leiden. It makes my blood too thick, it clots to easily. The opposite of a hemophiliac, in a way. I discovered that I had this disorder, which is a genetic mutation, in October 2002. I had a blood clot in my brain. Let me tell you... THAT WAS SCARY!!!! Maybe, I'll tell that story another day, but for now, we'll stick with Sunday and my gratitude for my LIFE.
The blood clot in my brain was rare, and the fact that they found it before I had a stroke or a pulmonary embolism was virtually a miracle... Let's scratch the virtually, and just go with, IT WAS A MIRACLE!!!
Most blood clots that cause a stroke or a pulmonary embolism, start as a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and in some cases you can have symptoms of the clot in your leg. You'll have pain in your leg, your leg can feel warm, or there can be swelling, among other things... If you don't know to be aware of these things, especially, as a "healthy" 24 year old, you probably wouldn't give any of those symptoms a second thought even if you did have them.
Well, if there was pain in my leg back in 2002, I was oblivious to it... But this past week, I wasn't oblivious, I was ignoring it... I didn't want to go to the emergency room, and there to be nothing wrong. (Have you gotten an E.R. visit bill lately? and we have pretty good insurance too!) And I guess there was part of me that didn't want there to be anything wrong, and if you don't KNOW something is wrong, than NOTHING is wrong... I lie to myself... (did you know this about me?)
And... I should probably mention, too, that we had been planning our annual trip to Scarborough Faire, for last Saturday, and quite frankly, I didn't want to miss it, and I couldn't find another time in our calendar to reschedule it... PATHETIC, huh????
So, I go to the E.R. and they do a sono of my leg and sure enough it has a ton of little clots in the superficial veins. Not a DVT, but little blood clots, that for me are SERIOUS, because if they are forming there, that means my blood is too thick and they can form easily anywhere...
I took this whole thing pretty lightly, until today when I had my follow up visit with my brand spankin' new, shiny hematologist, Dr. Potluri. She really laid down the law for me, and explained the seriousness of not going to the E.R. sooner.
Since my previous blood clot was in my brain, the hospital gave me a neurologist, Dr. Tesfa, I really like Dr. Tesfa, so I kept him on to manage my blood disorder. Well, it appears, these speciality doctors, are just that, specialty doctors. They emphasize their studies in one area, thus making them very knowledgeable in THEIR AREA (not other areas *i.e. brain not blood / blood not brain... get the idea?*)
After speaking with Dr. Potluri today, I became aware that there are about a million more tests they need to run on my blood to find out exactly what "kind" of blood I have, so they can find the best course of action to treat me with. And just so you know, when they need to run a million more tests that means they need a million viles of your blood. I really could care less about getting my blood drawn beucase I had to have it drawn all the time when I was on blood thinners previously, but the thing that I do not understand is; Why do they need to draw so many individual viles, why can't they just take a bunch all at once and then divide it up the way they need to later after I'm gone???? (Just a funny / rhetorical question... I know why, but it really does seem ridicuolous!)
She already told me today, that I will need to be on blood thinner for the rest of my life. Which means bi-monthly trips to the lab to get a blood draw to make sure my blood is not too thick or too thin... It also means, there is no such thing as an easy surgery for me. When you are on blood thinners it's like all anesthesiologist go retarded on you. They want fifty billion release forms from the everybody and anybody from Joe the plumber to God before they will treat you... OH!!!! And it means I have to watch what I eat and ingest, in general, beucase there are tons of things that affect the thickness of your blood. (like vitamin K, which is found in many foods, and vitamin suppliments) And the idea is to maintain a constant PT / INR level.
Urgh... I'm getting frustrated... can you tell??????
I've completely lost my train of thought... I hope that I haven't rambled too much. I guess the point of what I am trying to say is that, I spent 11 hours Sunday in the E.R. because I thought I had a blood clot in my leg. I do have blood clots in my leg. I have/had not been taking my blood disorder seriously, and I need to start, RIGHT NOW!!!!
I have a really great life, with beautiful children, I feel so very blessed to have, a magnificent husband, that treats me like a queen, and a Mom that would walk the world for me, not to mention all of my other GREAT family members. I have countless things / reasons to live for. I have so much to be grateful for. So today, I'm not going to list a bunch of little things that I am grateful for, because there are plenty of those, and I can save them for another day. Today I am going to be grateful for my LIFE, and I'm going to start living like I am grateful for my LIFE!!! I am going to live intentionally, and not half-heatedly like I sometimes have in the past!
WHAT AM I GRATEFUL FOR??????
- MY LIFE
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